In last week’s New Demographic email newsletter, I shared some thoughts on marriage, and mentioned how unacceptable it was that we’re forcing gay couples to accept second-class status when it comes to their relationships.

One person on our mailing list — who has been receiving and reading our emails for a year and a half — wrote back with this:

Let the term ‘marriage’ be applied to only between a Man and a Woman. I’m sick and tired of hearing all these ‘gays’ wanting the same so-called rights afforded to Heterosexual couples. Also sexual orientation isn’t in the same context of racial discrimination. The ‘Fags’ have hijacked the Civil Rights Freedom Bus Rides a long time ago.

Right away, I removed this person from our mailing list.

In case you didn’t know, one of New Demographic’s six core beliefs is:

We go beyond the concerns of the specific community to which we belong and recognize that when one group is discriminated against, it is an affront to us all.

I realize that it takes awhile to make this shift in thinking since we’re all so conditioned to think only about the interests of our own particular little group.

But if 18 months worth of messages from New Demographic is not enough to break this person out of his small-minded bigotry, then I really don’t need to waste any more time communicating.

Sometimes you need to know when to walk away.

Growing up, I never thought about my dream wedding.

This is going to sound weird, but while other little girls were fantasizing about their future weddings, my fantasies were all about the day I could finally break free and live on my own.

I couldn’t wait to have my own apartment, make my own decisions, and — most importantly, at that age — buy the brand of toothpaste I wanted!

As I got older, I became ambivalent about marriage (it’s just a piece of paper, right?). I was also highly suspicious of the wedding-industrial complex that brainwashed women into believing that they needed their own Disney fairytale moment, no matter how many tens of thousands of dollars of debt it required.

Well, I got married this summer, and much to my surprise, the experience gave me a very different outlook on marriage.

I finally understood the power and importance of social rituals. I also came to understand just how differently society treats married couples, compared to non-married couples.

Just one example: A bunch of my husband’s guy friends suddenly opened up to him in ways they never had before, now that he had joined — as they put it — “the secret club.”

As Tami’s article points out, “right or wrong, our culture places special honor on the marriage commitment. A spouse is revered as something more than a live-in lover.”

And yet we’re forcing so many of our brothers and sisters to accept second-class status when it comes to their relationships. The right to marry is an even more basic right than voting. Sure, marriage isn’t for everyone. But shouldn’t we all have the right to make that decision for ourselves?

“Obama is not our racial messiah.”

That’s what I told St. Petersburg Times reporter Eric Deggans last week when he interviewed me.

Seems like an obvious statement, right? Then why are we still looking to Obama alone to guide us in a so-called “national conversation about race?”

I’ve heard many folks express frustration that Obama hasn’t talked much about race since his “A More Perfect Union” speech.

But we can’t expect a single person to abolish racism once and for all. All of us play a part everyday, in big ways and small ways.

After all, a national conversation doesn’t happen unless we’re all participating.